Just Listen

Just Listen

Discover the Secret to Getting Through to Absolutely Anyone

Book - 2010
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Drawing on his experience as a psychiatrist, business consultant, and coach, author Mark Goulston combines his background with the latest scientific research to help readers turn the "impossible" and "unreachable" people in their lives into allies, devoted customers, loyal colleagues, and lifetime friends. Just Listen does this by providing simple but powerful techniques readers can use to really get through to people. You'll learn how to: make a powerful and positive first impression; listen effectively; make even a total stranger (potential client) feel understood; talk an angry or aggressive person away from an instinctual, unproductive reaction and toward a more rational mindset; and achieve buy-in--the linchpin of all persuasion, negotiation, and sales. Whether they're coworkers, friends, strangers, or enemies, the first make-or-break step in persuading anyone to do anything is getting them to hear you out. With this groundbreaking book, readers will be able to master the fine but critical art of effective communication.
Publisher: New York ; Toronto : American Management Association, c2010.
ISBN: 9780814414033
0814414036
Characteristics: xix, 234 p. ;,24 cm.

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I bought this book. I have given it as a high-school graduation gift. I cannot recommend more highly. Mark Goulston dissects his natural gifts to share with the rest of us. Simple and powerful techniques for better and effective communication, especially with difficult people, or with people who are having a difficult time. Very practical and enjoyable to read.

Some of the things I liked:
*Stop trying to be interesting, be interested instead
*Let a person in crisis exhale: they vent, be quiet, they stop, say “tell me more”, don’t engage or debate or offer solutions, just listen and let them exhale
*Make everyone feel valuable
*Share your own vulnerabilities (bare your neck)
*Steer clear of toxic people: the needy, bullies, takers, narcissists, and psychopaths
*Ask: What is impossible but desirable? Then ask: What would make that possible?
*Ask: “Do you really believe that?” when they make a hyperbolic statement
*The power of “Hmmmm….” (and “Really” and “And so…” and “Tell me more” and “Then what happened?”) to de-escalate
*Cause people to look up (with their eyes) and reflect on your question – you’ll make a better connection with them than if your question is transactional (yes/no) (submitted by Jen)

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